I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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