beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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