Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
