she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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