Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
