It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
