Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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