I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize