I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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