I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
