You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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