I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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