her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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