Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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