well you can't waste a boner
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
