someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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