I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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