Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
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You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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