I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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