should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
