We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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