how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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