Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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