i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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