Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
