I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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