If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize