I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
