I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize