I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
