yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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