dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
