Hey man sorry I got all grabby
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?