Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize