no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
