is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
