I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
