He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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