By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
