I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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