so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
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