Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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