i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just want nice things and good sex
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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