found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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