Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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