Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
