So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
