Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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