My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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