Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
