I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
