Duck Duck Cougar?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
