I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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