god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There r osticjed everywhere
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have already put on my inside pants.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
