Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
