I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
