Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
