pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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