my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize