I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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