with your own penis?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
