Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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